for then i bought oats for it.

burden of dreams.

2010-10-15T12:39:00.000-07:00

1982.

see you there...

2010-03-17T07:22:00.000-07:00

Private Concert

2010-02-25T15:14:00.000-08:00

Holiday Inn, Houston. 1988.

1

postop post of postjams.

2009-12-19T08:51:00.000-08:00

i had my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday. aside from eating pillz and lazing about, i've been watching bill murray movies and tons of post-punk and gothy vidz.

chris cross

2009-12-07T20:23:00.001-08:00

a couple nights ago i was getting lifted in bed and decided it was time to watch a film. netflix suggested i watch the 1981 romcom, ARTHUR, simply because it was "new" to the watch instantly feature. it looked like something maybe i saw when i was young and i started to feel nostalgic about some blurry scene of him in the bathtub- probably because emotions were high. so i went for it.

there he is! dudley moore goofin off in the tub.

the first scene of ARTHUR in the tub is preceded by the scene below of he and his butler.

classic. I DIGGIT.

however, right after this scene i fell asleep. fifteen minutes in, maybe? really, that's all i needed- my want to see him goofin around in the tub for a second was fulfilled AND (the real treat (which is the subject of this blog)) i was reintroduced to the opening song, ARTHUR'S THEME (BEST THAT YOU CAN DO) written by carole bayer sager, burt bacharach, christopher cross & peter allen, and performed by CHRISTOPHER CROSS. GODDAM SO GOOD. soft-pop-yacht rock at its best.

there he is. christopher cross and a child.

i really know nothing about him, nor do i really care outside of this jam. one thing is true tho: i do always think of a popular tiny backwards rap outfit when i hear his name.

why are they wearing their clothes INCORRECT ;) like that?

so, all that aside, here it is. this video is decent and all as it includes clips from the motion picutre, but the majick of the song is really caught as you hear it in the opening scene of ARTHUR as he is drunkenly cackling, being driven around night time NYC in a rolls-royce in search of a prostitute. which, darn the luck, i could not find a video of.

it is the most perfect soft rock song.

BUT! before i found the video above, i came across the gem below:

aaaahhhh HAHAHA! i love this. sometimes people do something so funny and then put it up on the internet for everyone to enjoy. thank you youtube user, STONERPERV. i suppose this was actually the true blogspiration for this entry.

if you wish to make an apple pie from scratch...

2009-10-18T13:41:00.000-07:00

you must first invent the universe.

this is unbelievably well done and thoughtful.

it's kind of alot to ask, but...

2009-09-22T11:35:00.000-07:00

...i need to know because i'm going to the west coast for two and a half weeks. STOKED.

summer...

2009-09-16T12:17:00.000-07:00

l8r allig8r.

don't do it.

2009-09-07T07:18:00.001-07:00

2009-09-05T17:25:00.000-07:00

dear friends...

2009-05-11T08:29:00.000-07:00

how have i never seen this?

2009-04-30T11:41:00.000-07:00

I LOVE IT!

yeah... I EAT HOTDOGS.

NO, i have not heard the new DOOM...

2009-04-29T14:02:00.000-07:00

i've been too busy JERKIN...

4:20 MOTHERFUCKERZ GET HIGH

2009-04-20T15:00:00.000-07:00

inside job...

2009-04-06T12:03:00.000-07:00

saw this somewhere in fountain square, indy...

so OBV, here's public enemy's classic video...

and along came the game...

speaking of 9.11...

i'm falling for you...
<3

LEVITATE.

2009-03-31T11:34:00.000-07:00

THE RELUCTANT SAINT...

2009-03-31T07:53:00.000-07:00

ST. JOSEPH OF CUPERTINO
"prone to miraculous levitation and intense ecstatic visions that left him gaping. in turn, he is recognized as the patron saint of air travelers, aviators, astronauts, people with a mental handicap, test takers, and weak students." (wiki)

this leads me to believe he is also the prime candidate for patron saint of the shaka...

BEHOLD the mental saint as he hangs loose before the eyes of god.

"levitate... and faith bore witness to cumulus."

the hiphop maniac, the uptown brainiac...

2009-01-31T10:59:00.000-08:00

well, january HAS had its moments...

2009-01-29T20:08:00.000-08:00

see, we are all twenty three year oldz. twos on yr right and threes on yr left. throwed up for EMJAY.

tree city famlay crafted some tunes and put on a rap performance. the gods were definitely out. pause.

queen laqueefah was forced to bite snuggie's patented style.

this guy at the bar dressed his hands up like twins.

and felipe went all city in the target parking lot.

prodigy...

2009-01-15T14:47:00.000-08:00

of MOBB DEEP. not 'firestarter' prodigy, dummy.

this has been confusing to people on the internet. amazon customers, specifically. here are a couple funny reviews of RETURN OF THE MAC... SORRY SO BLURRY.

and this one...

what a fucking nerd.

i remember about a year ago watching some dudez smash up a car while listening to "firestarter"... and i thought, "i wish they were playing 'keep it thoro'."
.................................................................

anyway, since prodigy is my horsebird blogspiration, i thought i'd post a few of my favorite prodigy videos.

MAC 10 HANDLE

NEW YORK SHIT.

ABCs.

and finally, KEEP IT THORO.

this is only solo prodigy shit, obv. stay healthy. get out of jail soon.

LARD...

2009-01-12T23:14:00.000-08:00

i wrote a sixteen for this remix that my buddy GLOOM is doing. LARD (as in a southern dialectal pronunciation of 'lord') is the title of the instrumental. so i took it and played on that... hot sixteen! hot sixteen!

O LARD!... ON SOME SOUTHERN RURAL LIVIN
TO FIND THE trilo-BIBLE WITH THE SPINE THE SIZE OF CHILDREN'S
I'M WITH GLOOMINATI TAKING SHOTS OF PISS AND VINEGAR
AND I CAN SMELL THE MALT LIQUOR LINGER OFF THE MINISTER
GODDAM!... HOLES, HOLES IN HIS HANDS
'LARDY' BE THE MERCY CALL, THE BLOOD HAS LEFT THE LAMB
SORDID SLOWDRIP, RUBBER GLOVES AND WOODEN BUCKETS
TRYING TO BAG IT UP AND FLIP IT FOR DIAMONDS OR DUCKETS
TRANSFER OF THE PRODUCT, TURNING BLOOD OF GOD TO BUTTER
XEIlaRUESKI CHURNS IT PROPER, DEADING BISQUIT LEGAL NUMBERS
A SACK OF LARD IS PURITY, THEY PRAISE DIVINE FORCES
ON ALL FOURS, BETWEEN BREAKING TALLOW-COVERED HORSES
HORSE HOOF AND MOUTH, GETTING GULLY IN THE SADDLE
SCREAMING 'GALLOP YR WINGS!' WHILE FEEDING THE BEAST APPLES
TRAVELING THE PLANE TO CAST THE LARD'S SHADOW BOLD
AND MELT IT INTO FAITH FROM THE BLAZE OF SUN'S GOLD

triflin. you can find gloom HERE.

somalia...

2009-01-12T16:55:00.000-08:00

i haven't really liked anything else k'naan has done, but this is a good rap.
a country, city ode to to somalia, mogadishu. somailian pirates...

so what you know about the pirates terrorize the ocean
to never know a single day without a big commotion
it can’t be healthy just to live with such a steep emotion
and when I try and sleep, I see coffins closing

conflict...

2009-01-09T12:40:00.000-08:00

r. kelly. SEX IN THE KITCHEN.
toms, fruits, veggies, taters.

japcity. PUT THAT BUDDY UNDER THE JAIL.
the fuck is up with this dude's name?

revenge of the nerds...

2009-01-08T08:26:00.000-08:00

the god, arnold poindexter, of tri-lam asks the earth from omega mu...

"wait - would you rather live in the ascendancy of a civilization or during its decline?"

............................................

weird full circle of an imperfect, internal kenny bloggins...

TRUMPET THE BEAST AND BURDEN IT BRINGS//
WITH THE HOOVE CLOP BEAT THAT KEEPS THE EARTH RISING

chris burden.

............................................

hari kunzru.

MEMORIES OF DECADENCE

............................................

PLUS! nothing to do with anything. check this new scarface video. hot hot hot hot hot hot...

thanks for the tip, g-wiz. PAUSE.

no more...

2009-01-03T10:35:00.000-08:00

i maxxxed out.

3rd bass on the second date...

2009-01-02T07:02:00.000-08:00

GAS FACE.

all things good about this video: a detailed explanation and history of 'the gas face'. flavor flav. sub roc (r.i.p.). gilbert gottfried. serch's '3rd bass' clipped hair. serch's weird, problematic verse on racism. kmd. zev love x. mf doom. multiple hammer disses.

STEPPIN TO THE A.M.

the intro really sets it off- serch reveals his newly clipped hair and pete nice pokes his head out of a train and throws a dookie rope out the window. 'how you livin hobbes?!?!'

BROOKLYN-QUEENS.

AGAIN. the intro is goddam classic! serch calling pete nice 'coca'... NEwayz, other highlights include mc serch referring to dude as a 'retard sportin a four finger ring'. three is perfect, four is just overkill, dummy. BONUS! this jam includes several racial stereotypes.

bill NYE...

2009-01-01T20:15:00.000-08:00

love em. can't get enough of em. i took this right after i had breakfast number two of the day. it followed breakfast number one from earlier that day at the runcible spoon and was preceded by breakfast number three at waffle house the morning of the new year january first twothousandnine.

violence.

ear jordanz.
earRING in 2009 with jordan. you only celebrate new years while 23 once.

all eyez on me...

2008-12-30T12:29:00.000-08:00

holes in my hands, holes, holes in my hands...

2008-12-30T11:00:00.000-08:00

HORSE HOOF AND MOUTH, GETTIN GULLY IN THE SADDLE
SCREAMING GALLOP YR WINGS! WHILE FEEDING THE BEAST APPLES

.......

walt grizzly and famlay... merriment.

five percent club. which is kind of like the 700 club.

i've been spending a lot of time at work researching the nation of gods and earths. i found a complete "packet"of information about them on their official website (NO WORRIES you can get it too, it's a .pdf, god). as a result, i've started working on a series of drawings about the gods. and the earths. beardos with bike caps that say "GODZ" mostly. and i think about how i can justify doing this. just another zany religion. funky.

this blog, on a whole, is very clear and direct.

family sitcom...

2008-12-16T20:40:00.000-08:00

trailer for a sitcom that was shot in IKEA during business hours.

found this link on CABINET MAGAZINE online. which is JUST the best mag ever. this winter issue's issue is SHAME. peep game here. or just go buy buy buy.

we gettin arab money...

2008-12-03T20:40:00.000-08:00

can you roll your Rs for ARAB MONEY?

hmm... i feel weird about kind of liking this. it's pretty fucked up... no, very fucked up.

anyway, the production group that put the video together does some really amazing work. you can get more of what they're doing at THREE21MEDIA.

and you can check their VIMEO page HERE. good rap shit.

OFFAL WAFFEL...

2008-11-25T10:57:00.000-08:00

now, i'm not one to harp on one's appearance, but, unfortunately, this guy looks like such a douche. otherwise...

more about this guy.

captain beefhart. pork in the road. hang a west.

mindfuckery...

2008-11-22T15:34:00.000-08:00

thanks for the tip, parlayersball. PAUSE.

whoa...

2008-11-22T13:54:00.000-08:00

this is good.

rap magic...

2008-11-18T10:31:00.000-08:00

this is old news, but it involves one of my favorite samples used in rap music: AL KOOPER'S "love theme from 'the landlord'"... here's a snippet of it following a jay-z song that used it.

the JAY song is "soon you'll understand" - produced by JUST BLAZE. you can see a video of it that features no video, just song, below:

it's a banger, but i like what THE ALCHEMIST did with it more. his version is "hold you down" and features PRODIGY (of MOBB DEEP) and NINA SKY. THE ALCHEMIST managed to chop AL KOOPER's lyrics in way to make the loop say "hold you down" - shit is bad. here's footage of THE ALCHEMIST and PRODIGY making the beat and writing the lyrics (thanks for the tip mr. g wiz... PAUSE).

finally, here's the video for the completed "hold you down" - unfortunately the concept of the video makes the song seem even cornier than it already is. WHATEVER, duke. the best part of the video is at 2:31. shop til you drop!

for all the people i work for, blow the four four for...

creaming yr pants...

2008-11-14T14:57:00.000-08:00

nothing rhymes with orange juice...

2008-11-14T14:43:00.000-08:00

STYLE BITER!!! this is JUST the worst. R.I.P. it up. dogshit.

LIES...

2008-11-13T12:25:00.000-08:00

i was in boston last week and ate at this place on the top of the PRUDENTIAL building.

the foie was str8 butterz.

blog gras...

2008-10-28T10:28:00.000-07:00

fuck foie gras, i eat fancy feast with tha godz.

let's give them something to blog about...

2008-10-22T08:40:00.000-07:00

throw yr baby glocks up...

2008-08-07T11:52:00.000-07:00

it's always real funny to write a rap. i say this because usually when i start writing a real heavy rap, the only thing i have to work with is like 50 nonsense one or two liners (or barz, what have you). BUT. i gotta start somewhere. so, i go to my blackbook that i write in everyday and i look for the hottest shit chicken scratched in the margins. the idea is to come up with a whole rap jam out of one or two lines or fragments of thoughts. or at least get an idea for something bigger. many times i'll pick a bunch of these little 5-7 worders and be like, 'i def wanna use these in the same hot 16, let's make it happen.' and then i sit and think about it...

welcome to my secret rhyme craft- something that i should work on a lot more than i do (which is maybe once or twice a month unless something weird happens and i write the words to like 2 whole bangers in a week). idears come in spurts, that's just how i do. so, the process is real slow. here's an example:

up until a couple days ago i hadn't even attempted to write some shit in a long time. so i was like, 'BET. let's look at the blackbook.'

the first page i turned to had the title of this blog entry scrawled at the bottom. 'throw yr baby glocks up' is the very end of the chorus of this pretty garbage jay-z song, "where you at?" featuring eve (when she was still xl) and amil. 'where my ladies in this place, who hold they (buddie's) space, when they locked up, throw yr baby glocks up,' is how it goes.

'throw yr baby glocks up' is a pretty exciting thing to say so i figured i'd work off that. also on that page, i had written "beast of burden." i saw that and i was like wtf. this immediately brought to mind bucks with tiny guns. so here's my rap:

trumpet the beast and burden it brings
with the hooveclop beat that keeps the dream grinding
parlay asleep, i bathe in goldleaf
and slowdrift thru murk in a sea of godskeet
idiot maw, let the spittle drip fall
and mimick the gimmick before i adhere to cat calls
blowin cancer-cause, blood of a bull in bottle
strollin side of rotten water, scrutinizing business models
we're in the land of dutches and Dutchmen
and some women grin red from a Jericho intention
walk like a duck as the 'j' displayed
but i'm blitzed with a fix for the guts to be grazed
mind hazed, phased, i watched as birds flew
not a sickness, but a scattering of wings toward blue

this is how rap works. two more goddam barz and i'll have a verse.

** don't get it fucked up-the 'j' i'm referring to is NOT short for "joint" (you know, weed). it is referencing the rap god KURIOUS JORGE, who had the hit, "walk like a duck" in '94. "you spell it with a JAAAAY, and not with a GEEEE." get it get it.

femur eadur...

2008-05-17T10:32:00.000-07:00

the horse leg was big brown and filled with all types of muscles. i imagined it getting all old and shrinking and getting all weak. the gawd made a comment of this thought out in the open and loud. we maimed it and cooked it and ate the legs like some kingz at the renaissance fair.

blogspiration...

2008-05-16T15:56:00.000-07:00

"ANYBODY THAT GOT SOMETHING AGAINST KEEPING A BLOG, YOU SHOULD STAY FARRRRRR AWAY FROM THE FOOL AND NEVER TRUST EM’. A BLOG IS NOT FOR EVERYBODY, JUST LIKE RAP MUSIC ISN’T FOR EVERYBODY. A BLOG IS INTERNET SLANG FOR A LOG AND IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT A LOG IS—IT’S WHAT BOAT CAPTAINS WRITE AND KEEP IN ORDER TO DOCUMENT THE DAYS OF LONG VOYAGES AND TRAVELS...IT’S LIKE A DIARY.

SO FOR A YOUNG, VETERAN, HARDCORE RAPPER LIKE MYSELF, THAT’S BEEN IN THE GAME FOR OVER 16 YEARS TO KEEP A BLOG ON MY OWN WEBSITE MIND YOU, IS GROUND BREAKING AND VERY INTERESTING. AND WHOEVER TELLS YOU THEY DON’T DO THE BLOG THING, THEN THAT’S THEIR CHOICE...BUT IT’S THE CHOICE OF A DINOSAUR WHO HAS LITTLE TO NO PLACE WITH THE COMPUTER TECHNOLOGICAL FUTURE."

**excerpt from PRODIGY of MOBB DEEP's new blog on vibe.com-- BECAUSE PRODIGY SAYS SO. read the whole post HERE. keep up with albert while he does his illegal gun charge bid.